Still corresponding with Josephine

Dear J,

Yes!

It’s very true about being alone. It absolutely does bring clarity.

Now you have made me want a nice cup of tea.

It’s a lazy morning after a night when I was awake much of it, and I’m letting myself rest so far. I want to make bread though, and have to do dishes, really, and get outside.

I’m so far behind in answering your emails, but they are such a treat to receive. Why isn’t this one on your blog? It would make a good entry.

I didn’t realize you’d been on the point of leaving your home. Did you have a place to go? Not having one that I wanted to go to has kept me in the same house as Fella many times.

You still see and appreciate your husband’s loving side, one thing that keeps you there in spite of frequent deep unhappiness. I guess it’s similar for me here, although I have given up trying to heal my relationship with Fella. I have withdrawn physically and in other ways in order to save myself. I’m sad and miss the Fella I love, but … there is no guarantee he will be there if I behave any differently, and I have to face and accept that.

The distance that comes with being alone is somewhat protective, it seems. He’s not so quick to be rude to me, as now he doesn’t know me so well. There is space between us.

We shall see. I’m still watching the real estate in town and meanwhile enjoying my home and my life too.

Irritations and dissatisfactions at your new job, eh? I’m sorry to hear that, I was hoping it would be light and easy for you.  I can relate to not liking to work for someone else or under a supervisor who doesn’t respect your competency and conscientiousness. I’d be grumbling.

I think I’ll go see if there is any chocolate peanut butter ice cream left.